The Quiet Pull of Your Own Soul
Leaving the military wasn’t easy, but neither was staying. Finding peace meant choosing my own path.
Listen — this is no shade to the Marine Corps because it’s truly a deeply personal topic, but holy shit. I just teared up on my way home because I didn’t realize how unhappy I was, and it’s only the contrast that has allowed me to appreciate the peace and happiness I feel now.
That life (military) is not for everyone. Time has revealed that it was definitely not for me. I’m so thankful I didn’t spend another 5-15 years of my life trying to prove to myself or anyone else that I could make a career of it or be a “trailblazer” in the MOS or any of that. I gave it my all for five years but it was sucking the life out of me.
At the end of the day, there’s only one person I have to face in the mirror every morning—myself—and, ultimately, stand accountable before God.
There are countless ways to serve your nation, community, and family. No single path is more worthy than another if it aligns with your values, honors your family, and stays true to your faith. I’m deeply thankful for those who choose to devote their lives to service in the military or any other calling that demands great sacrifice. I admire and respect them wholeheartedly. But I’ve also realized that living someone else’s dream will never bring lasting peace. If you feel called to walk away and find a different way to contribute, that’s okay. Life’s too short to ignore the quiet pull of your own soul.
I enjoyed reading this and am happy that you were able to give it your all for 5 years. This context helped me put my 20-year Marine Corps career into a different perspective. I can really only claim to have given my all for 17 years, which I am immensely proud of. But those other 3 years injured me in ways that I may never fully recover from. However, since retiring I am doing better personally and professionally (dare I also say financially?) than I ever thought possible. It took me a bit longer, but I did find my way back.
Well written. Transition from service, especially from the Marine Corps, is hard to process at the subconscious level. On the surface, I was less stressed and embraced in a new freedom, but inside of me was this struggle to unwind the parts of the Marine Corps that were no longer present in my life. I image what some of us experience is similar to what intutionalized prisoners feel when they are released. Not intentionally indicating service is a sentence, but you are sort of on contractual probation while you serve.
Service members are creatures of nature and it's a master class on "form follows function." The Marine Corps excels at that!!! That is why we identify differently to everyone. Semper Fi.